“You change your mind, like a girl changes clothes.
And you PMS like a bitch, I would know.”
If you read my last post you know I’m working on a little experiment where I pretend we have house guests in an effort to create a calm family atmosphere. Well, the past few days I could have been the poster child for Katy Perry’s Hot and Cold. It seems that focusing on controlling my temper makes my anger more intense when I do let it out. Not a big surprise. I’ve learned that the real issue for me is not so much controlling my temper as it is controlling how much I let things tick me off.
So, yeah, it’s hard for me. Act like everyone is watching? Everyone would surely think I’m bipolar.
Today my goal is to speak with only kind words to my family. Even when my children frustrate me, make me late, or argue with me, I want to remind myself that this is not the end of the world. I have healthy, wonderful children who deserve to be spoken to with respect. Quiet, kind words. For one day. Say it with me.
Could you do it?
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: kitchenandkids
February 15, 2011 at 12:49 pm
Ooooh! I totally forgot I was going to try the experiment, too. Well I blew that on two accounts. Good thing today is a new day!
Amy W. recently posted: Banana Pudding – Here Today- Gone Tomorrow
Okay, so I am thinking about this ‘pretend like others are watching’ concept. I wonder if it would be more authentic and useful if we actually did have more people in our lives as living accountability for our interactions with our families. So maybe it would be more effective if we went to the park more often, invited friends over, shared meals with neighbors, and did more to have people around us rather than just pretend like others are watching.
And I don’t like to freak out on my kids, but I do want them to learn how to deal with anger. So I want to learn how to be angry in front of them correctly. I had a dad who was angry in the wrong way and grew up thinking all anger is wrong. I want my kids to grow up knowing that it’s okay to be angry, but not okay to be mean.
All that to say, I am not going to hide my hunger, but learn how to angry and deal with it appropriately in front of my kids.
Linda recently posted: True Love
Twitter: Ellietownmama
February 15, 2011 at 11:29 pm
This is an interesting experiment. I need to clean like we’re having house guests!
Stopping by from sits. :)
Ellietownmama recently posted: Tiny Prints Birthday Party Invitation Product Review
Twitter: greenercleaning
February 16, 2011 at 7:38 am
Yeah, I like the idea of cleaning like we have company. Sometimes, we invite company over just to motivate us to clean! But as far as controlling outbursts with family, the best book we read was “Parenting with Love and Logic.” This book gives specific strategies for diffusing emotional responses. It really changed the atmosphere in our home. We’re not perfect at it, but it has really helped.
Carla recently posted: 10 Reasons to Become a “Greener Cleaning Mom”
Twitter: marierleslie
February 16, 2011 at 8:42 am
I am a yeller. Have been for years. It bothers me, it makes me unhappy when I do it, and it makes all of us miserable and accomplishes nothing. So, this year I really decided to get serious and getting rid of that bad habit. So far, despite a lot of extra stress, I have made it through since Christmas without allowing my temper to get the best of me and my decibels to get out of control. I definitely see a difference in our interactions as a family. My kids aren’t quite sure what to make of it yet, but that’s ok. They certainly don’t dislike the new calm mom, though my college-age son told me it was always easier when I got mad–it’s much “scarier” when mom stays calm because they always think it’s going to be tougher consequences. Doesn’t mean I don’t get angry, it just means I’m learning to control it.
Marie recently posted: Mending a Broken Heart
Twitter: childpsychmom
February 16, 2011 at 11:41 am
I love this idea! When I keep my house clean like we’re having company I’m always in a better mood. If I thought about acting like we have company, that would probably set a much better mood in my home for me, my husband, and children. Great post! PS-Found you on SITS 31DBBB.
Twitter: dsloandownes
February 16, 2011 at 2:22 pm
Stopping by from SITSGirls….
This is an excellent post. I love this idea, although I never would have thought of it. I have tried cleaning like we’re having company, but then I get busy with other things and it all falls apart.
I want to try this because I am guilty of losing my temper too quickly with my sons and they deserve better than that. And so do I because I always feel horrible after the fact.
Thanks for posting this!
Dawn recently posted: Dance Like Nobodys Watching
Twitter: dsloandownes
February 17, 2011 at 10:39 am
Hi, Shannon.
Just wanted to let you know that I was so inpsired by this post that I linked to it in Day 7 exercise for the SITSGirls 31dBBB Challenge. I hope you don’t mind. If you do, please let me know.
Dawn recently posted: Dance Like Nobodys Watching
Twitter: dsloandownes
February 17, 2011 at 10:41 am
Sorry. Here’s the link:
http://www.belleoftheblog.net/2011/02/you-are-not-alone-in-this-overcoming.html
Dawn recently posted: Dance Like Nobodys Watching
Twitter: Sbayrantsnraves
February 18, 2011 at 10:07 am
Act like they’re watching will definitely be a challenge for me. That’s a tough one & honestly this is the first time I heard of it. I just won’t apply that when I have my first skating competition…don’t tell anyone!
Bianca @ South Bay Rants n Raves recently posted: Aussie Eats Part 4- G’day Cafe Sydney NSW Australia