Expect More

When someone expects a lot from you, it’s often because they have high confidence in your ability. They know you can do more. They know you want to do more.

I’ve made the mistake of not expecting much from people. I get disappointed when people don’t step up to a challenge, when they give up, when they don’t care. After experiencing this disappointment for many years, I’ve simply come to expect less. And after years of expecting less of others, I’ve come to expect less of myself. I have the mindset that it’s easier to do it myself, or not do it at all, because I’ve been conditioning myself for years to expect less.

I came to this realization because of two people. My husband and Kiana Tom. I get angry when my husband expects more of me. Who is he to judge me? I do the best I can, dammit. But he knows me better than anyone. He sees me get down on myself, settle into laziness, then complain that nothing is happening in my life and that I’m not moving toward any goals. He expects more of me because he knows I want more for myself.

And who is Kiana Tom, you ask? She is a fitness guru from ESPN’s Kiana’s Flex Appeal. More than 15 years ago she inspired me to become a fitness instructor and to create an online fitness magazine. And just the other day, she followed me on Twitter. I had no idea her show was still on, or that she’d had two girls, or the myriad of other successes she’s had. When I clicked on her Twitter link, it was like some sort of smack in the face for me. We “started out” at about the same time, but she stayed focused on her goals and achieved much more than I.

I gave up. I expected less.

Screw that.

It’s time to expect more. Expect more of yourself. Expect more of your children (they’ll be more productive and responsible!), expect more of everyone in your life. They might surprise you and live up to it. You might live up to it yourself.

And wouldn’t that be awesome?